I Repeat, I Am NOT Chill 

I’m not cool or “chill”. It’s just a simple fact about me.

Quick story:

After an embarrassing amount of failed attempts at getting movies back from the flakiest fuckboy I’ve ever encountered, he felt the need to tell me “Chill, girl. You’re really cool, but damn.. sometimes, you’re too much.” And that’s obviously when I acted like a complete mature, composed adult and told him to go fuck himself if he couldn’t manage to return my stuff like a proper fucking adult would….Did I say mature/composed? I meant, a complete mad woman who would have throat punched him if he had told me to “chill” in person.

I am not a low-key, chill chick (whatever the fuck ‘cool’ or ‘chill’ even mean in that context). I don’t even mildly exude that. I’m high energy, and a relatively demanding person that is definitely too much for some people. *My best friend likes to compare me to a puppy, because I’m both playful and will whine relentlessly until my loved ones surrender to my whims*

Are these qualities everyone loves? Definitely not. Do I pretend to be anything but a neurotic goofball? Goodness no. If I’m “too much” it means that I’m not for you, so get to stepping. I’m fine with who I am.

Also, ladies…how many of us love being told to “chill” or “relax”?? Sigh. They never learn.

I’m so not cool, guys. I like getting my stuff back after I stop seeing someone -it only seems fair. I also really like adult conversations that don’t lead to “show me your tits”, relationships that involve labels, and I LOVE having specific plans to which the other adult shows up on time (8 pm does NOT mean 9:30pm).

To any future flakey fuckboys to cross my path, I’m not chill…I will NEVER be chill. Stop requesting it of me.

To Be Continued,

B&B

Book Club Part One: Fluid


And guess what…she LOVED it.

“FLUID is a gritty interactive novel that explores the nature of free will, through both the large story of a cosmic battle between good and evil, and the small story of two teenagers yearning for connection in a greedy, manipulative world.”

Have you ever read a book and forgotten that it’s not real life and you don’t actually know the characters? …you’re basically Gilmore Girl level acquainted with the characters, and you’re rooting for them/with them?

That’s how “fluid” was for me, and like all things I’m obsessed with…I share it with the masses! I’m not going to go into too much detail, because the author does a much better job at summarizing it than I ever could.

It’s an adult interactive book, so check it out on a digital platform (iBooks, nook, etc.) I also highly recommend you head over to his website. You can get more information about it there.

I have read it three times and I’m consistently in love with the content in this book… It’s a must-read!

Oh, and just as a fantastic side note: you can stalk the author on Instagram (I already do, regularly): @TravisSentell -not only is he a phenomenal writer, but he takes beautiful photos of his travels! Oh, and he’s a total silver fox with gorgeous blue eyes…so there’s that. 😉

To Be Continued.

B&B

Why Millennial Men Find Women Like Me Confusing

This actually made me laugh, because I give this friend shit constantly.

But to further explain the likely cause of his and most men’s confusion with women: he’s a millennial who enjoys casual dating. Not promiscuity, but actual dating. He’s definitely a gentleman (and is generally very wonderful) but he actually dates around for fun. Are there any women out there who enjoy that? ….Homies, that might be why you don’t understand women: most of us actually hate casual dating.

Let’s discuss casual dating in situations I’ve been in: we talk a lot, we like each other, we either have sex or just “fool around”, we do things together, we never get too “couple-y”,  I’m treated like I’m just “one of the boys”, and I always feel on edge and like I can’t relax. *There’s definitely ZERO type of commitment that provides any sense of security.

Now, I  can’t speak for all women, I can only speak for myself but casual dating has been nothing but bullshit for me.

As a result of being the anti-casual chick, I friend-zone all men who I know have no intention of actually dating me. I want love… the real kind. Not the romance that fades shortly after it begins, but the boring kind of love. The kind that provides comfort..the kind of comfort that makes a person feel at home with their counterpart. I like having a partner. I have no shame in that.

I’ve voiced this in the past to men I’ve “seen” and to friends, and it’s generally unacceptable for millennials to want a commitment. Men have genuinely been confused in the past when I refuse to take anything further and kick them out of my life, because they’re just not in a place where a relationship is feasible.

Well, gents of 2016, not all of us want a fuck or makeout buddy. Sorry that you all tend to find us confusing because of that.

Sincerely,

IncrediblySingleAndSlightlyAnnoyed

B&B

Proud Neo-liberal Beyoncé Feminist! 

So, bumble (the dating app) spoke out about a woman being verbally abused by a male user, and I’m getting all sorts of feisty over it:

HelloGiggles covers the story pretty well if you want to read what bumble had to say in response to the screenshot above.

If you’ve ever been on Tinder or Bumble, you’ve probably encountered a Connor-type. He’s a classic “I have too much to offer you, so tread lightly” type. My most recent encounter with one of those was when I matched with Legarrette Blount  last summer, and he told me I should consider myself “lucky”, because he’s picky. – 😳 ahem…excuse me?! Who the fuck are you!? (I had to google him to figure out who the hell he was) And I’m still NOT impressed, but his name sure as hell stuck with me!

I digress, it’s crazy that this Connor guy’s prestigious degree didn’t instill any sense of decency or humbleness in him. What a great way to impress the world with a fancy degree, Connor. We thank you for even allowing the rest of us to coexist with your ego. *barf*

This guys is a massive jerk, and I hope he finds exactly what he’s looking for in a counterpart… A giant bag of dicks.

Oh, and to all the haters of state schools… We got the same education, but I paid for mine myself.  *flips hair*  #ProudASUalum

Kicking and Screaming 

Today in Podcasts You Should Be Obsessed With: Kicking and Screaming, brought to you by Jenna and Bodhi Elfman. 

There’s seriously nothing I love more than a couple that has been together for basically ever and they do nothing but keep it real.  

This is the time of Facebook and Instagram posts, declaring undying love for a soulmate. Well, I don’t know about any of yall, but I’ve never dated an actual unicorn…and I’ve also never done heroine, so the euphoria these people express towards their lovers just confuses the shit out of me. Real love, to me, is someone who chooses you daily, and can still say “God, you’re fucking annoying sometimes. Still love you though!” 

I love LOVE love watching their podcasts. Jenna Elfman will for ever be my favorite hippy queen; Dharma, and their relationship is REAL. They actually express their annoyances towards one another. 

Check out their podcast, Kicking and Screaming, where they talk life, sex, parenting, and the perils of trying to get to your flight on time when your kid has to take the biggest number two there ever was. 

B&B 

The Guy With The Shed

For those of you who are new followers, this is Jane, and I was a serial dater all summer. In part, for a project, but also because it was entertaining trying on different personalities for a bunch of men I will never see again.

On a night that Joan and I went dancing, we met a couple of guys that clung to us like you would not believe. They were nice, so it wasn’t that bad at first, but we eventually had to shake them. I was a little too drunk to lie when one asked for my number, so I apparently gave it to him. Over the next couple of weeks, he kept trying to get me to go on a date with him.

I should add that through some questionable connections, I have a lot of investigative “resources” that I utilize often when men try to date me or date my girlfriends. So, Joan(roommate) and I decided to get some info on this guy to see if he was as decent as he lead on.

It’s not hard to get a read off of someone just after you’ve seen their social media. He read like a douchey player. I politely declined his first few attempts to go on a date. After he wasn’t accepting my efforts to brush him off,  Joan and I decided to mess with him. We googled his home address (google maps is a really creepy thing) and saw his home and what looked like a creepy, rusting shed.  So, then this happened:

 (I renamed him ‘Snorin’, because he was boring and it rhymed with his name)

After that exchange, Snorin was freaked out. He kept asking me how I found his address, and said “I won’t take you on a date unless you tell me how you found my address. Seriously.” I replied “I completely understand. Take care. Xx”, and I never heard from Snorin again.

The photo above was from when the conversation took place. I no longer have his number in my phone, and we have no friends in common but for some reason Facebook thinks basicandbipolar’s account knows him. Well, you caught me Facebook. I creeped the fuck out of that fuckyboy once. Poor Snorin’.

Well, guys…it’s no wonder why I’m single. But to be honest, I have yet to meet my match. When I do, I probably won’t be a complete jackass. *fingers crossed*

To be continued,

B&B

Fuckboy Spotting 

In my opinion, a “fuckboy” is any homie who thinks he can use as many women as he’d like for whatever he wants!

Young/old, tall/short, big dick/small dick…they’re all the same: not interested in relationships, and just present for a free show.

If you’re also sick of fuckboys, Adam Ray has got your back on how to spot the little shits:

“Wait for something more organic…”

First of all, who the fuck actually does that!?

And second: am I the only one who finds it incredibly condescending when someone says “you’ll meet him/her when the timing is right. It just has to happen organically.”???  -I like the idea of not having to put forth effort, but nothing actually happens organically. I’d love to say I’m not pushy, but I am. I’m always making moves to get things accomplished. Nothing great in my life has ever happened organically. I had to put in a sufficient amount of effort to make ANYTHING work.

I’m 25, and have been dating for a decade. Yes, there are women out there who have been dating in their adulthood a lot longer than I, but I’m exhausted.

My type has gone from so narrow and picky that it was comedic, to “must be a decent human being, with whom I can have great conversations and moments with.” -I obviously want to be attracted to them, but I tend to find intellect and a mutual connection more attractive with my aging. He doesn’t have to be freakishly tall, foreign, funny, bilingual,  5+ years older, dark, and handsome. <I told you it was comedic>

He can be a normal human being, because I am a normal human being. I mean, I think I’m a catch, but I’m not Giselle Bündchen.

So, how the F**K do I go about “bumping into” this normal and sophisticated gent in an organic fashion? ….Do I hover over Tolstoy at the old bookstore, with hopes that I’ll have a meetcute with some cutie who ALSO is obsessed with early 19th century literature? -Come on, guys… that’s not actually a thing.  Meeting people organically is total bullshit. So, until then… the cutie in the produce section will have to do.

To Be Continued,

IncrediblySingle&SlightlyAnnoyed

B&B

 

Emilie I 

Kevin now has his own corner on Basic&Bipolar. Enjoy his beautiful words below, and under the menu option “It’s All Copacetic“.

I can hardly remember the way you tossed your hair; something I’ve studied on numerous occasions. I catch glimpses now and again as trees reach out and swing their branches in the wind. And the wind still carries your scent, following me everywhere I go, urging me to look back and see you standing there. But I still have trouble remembering the way you tossed your hair.

I can hardly relive the flashbacks of your lips pressing tightly together and melting away from mine only to tease; like a newly blossomed rosebud opening for the bees and then withering away the second it slips in. Then hunger ensues; hunger for your lips. But I still have trouble reliving those flashbacks.

I can hardly feel your hands. I imagine they would be lost in mine, our fingers intertwined like the mossy overhang on our front porch door. Our front door, it creaked slightly when you crept in, opening it slowly to soften the sound.

Oh, I can hardly recall the sound! The sound of your voice as it trembles beneath a whisper, forcing out those words. And I’m still holding onto those words. You said that if I left there’s no way you’d survive.

Then you left…so, are you still alive? I can hardly recall.

Sexist Drivel Part I

So, this blog Return of Kings??

Apparently this blog is of this “neomasculinist’ movement… because at some point masculinity became old hat and left our male dominated world?? Anyway, It’s been highly publicized lately, as one of their writers allegedly promotes legalizing rape on private property.

Did anyone else’s jaw drop when they read that? So, here’s the dirt: in his 2015 blog post, he was quoted as saying: “I propose that we make the violent taking of a woman not punishable by law when done off public grounds. If rape becomes legal under my proposal, a girl will protect her body in the same manner that she protects her purse and smartphone.” – Author and founder of this gem of a website and movement, Daryush ‘Roosh’ Valizadeh, said his comment was meant to be satire…………………..

*I must also add two things: the author of the post in question/creator of this site is a self-professed relationship guru. He gives dating advice on his site. And it’s hilarious. WHAT A STUD. And second: I have NOT found an actual publication talking about being pro-rape legalization outside of the quoted phrase above. To be honest, I got too sick of weeding through the sexist drivel to continue searching.

But here are a few of the highlights (along with my thoughts) from my trip through this website. Feel free to click the links and read them for yourselves.

8 Things That Make A Girl Stupid And Useless

  1. Bars & Clubs. -Sure. Sure. *rolls eyes*
  2. Social Media -Right, we should all be hiding in our towers, waiting for someone to save us, so we can debut our faces in public after we’re married.
  3. Careers -I totally agree. Women in the workplace? Gross. All jobs should be given to men. Including blowing. Hetero misogynist douche bags can take that job, too.
  4. Colleges and Universities -Because what woman needs an education when these lovely gents have so much knowledge to drop on us? *College Educated Feminist and proud, asshat.
  5. Smartphones -Awww….but I just learned what all of those buttons, and doodads did!
  6. Shopping Malls -Yes, we all love malls…because we have tits, so obviously we all just live at the fucking mall.
  7. Movies and Television Shows –Same as #6…we all have tits, so obviously we watch the same shows…..and they make us dumber by the hour (or 45 min. depends on the show)
  8. White Knights and Male Feminists -Those damn white knights and male feminists….THEY RUIN EVERYTHING BY SUPPORTING US!!

I’m surprised this list didn’t include “#10: Having a Heartbeat also makes women stupid”. Do these guys even like women?? It doesn’t sound like it. I don’t know about you guys, but I think these guys sound like a bunch of 10’s. I bet they get all of the dates.

Never Date A Woman Who Takes One Of These Prescription Drugs (feel free to check this doozy out on your own)

The author lists 10 different commonly prescribed antidepressants (brand name and generic name), and urges other men to investigate their potential partners. He recommends they check the bathroom medicine cabinet (obviously), the purse, the car, the nightstand, etc. ALL in the name of finding out of she takes antidepressants. He later goes on to say this: “These pill popping broads are not to be taken seriously in any way, shape, or form—they’re losers. And what do losers do? They fucking lose, and they’ll bring your ass along for the ride if you let them. Just because these women get their drugs from a pharmacist, and not some low-life drug dealer working a street corner, doesn’t mean their issues have legitimacy.”

Well, from this “batshit ho-bag from America” to all of you,

I get my Prozac from CVS (not a drug dealer), and it’s white…not green………..So, there’s that. -Can we all just take a minute to consider what sort of human this man is? A man that not only demeans women who take prescription medications, but also warns other men to stay away. How gross. It’s 2016, how do men like this still exist? It is completely unacceptable to shame ANYONE for taking care of their mental health.

Mental health is a serious and important thing. Fuck everyone that tells any of you otherwise. EMBRACE who you are, and what got you to where you are….baggage and all! You are perfect the way you are. We all are.

*sidenote: so, SSRI’s (selective seratonin reuptake inhibitors= used for seratonin imbalances) are completely unacceptable, but there’s no mention of actual narcotics being unacceptable?? So, your girl can be an addict (not of Xanax though, because it’s used for anxiety)…she just can not be depressed, have anxiety, or have any other personality disorder that requires an ‘upper’?

Like I said in the beginning, I could NOT find anything tying the site to a “pro-rape” agenda.

I really do believe, after having read several pieces by these men, that the author and creator of that site was being a sexist jerk who thinks rape is a woman’s problem and not a societal problem. I believe his “satirical” statement was said in a “if we legalize rape, maybe they’ll stop being sluts and actually protect themselves.” sort of way. Is he pro-rape legalization? Probably not. Is he a sexist asshole who thinks rape is a woman’s fault and problem? Yeah, probably.

Shutting down ignorance like this website is hugely important to becoming a better world. Let’s not get caught up in a media frenzy over one single line he said months ago. Lets instead look at the website as a whole and say “no, this is unacceptable.” -Return of kings has a really large following, so it’s not like there are a handful of men out there that live by these mindsets. There’s a massive amount of them, so it’s going to take a massive amount of opposing thinkers to shut down their sexist and hateful spewing.

What do you guys think of this site, have you read about it already?

To Be Continued,

B&B