Unsent Messages

To the man who describes himself as a broken-hearted hero, 

I thought love was jealous, fragile, and painful. I thought everyone who loved deeply, did so complicatedly. 

Since you, I’ve discovered love through the purest of sources: friendship and kindness. 

The kind of love that makes me feel seen. The kind of love that makes me feel heard. 

It’s that kind of familial love I didn’t realize I already knew, and had no idea I would someday gain even more of. 

Because of what I’ve learned since you, I was ready for him. To see him. To hear him. To love him. 

I’m thankful for where my path has brought me. I hope you can say the same. 

Sincerely, 

The confident queen who walked away

Love letters from a fembot

You took my compliment as an insult, and for that I must explain: when I say I love you the way I love women, it’s the highest compliment I can offer.

I know these women.
I know their hearts.
I trust their intentions.
I trust their judgement.

Telling you I love you the way I love my women, it says

I know you.
I know your heart.
I trust your intentions.
I trust your judgement.

The men in my life come and go. Though I hold their friendships dear to my heart, the ties always tend to fade.

The women, they’re for life.

Pick any one of them, and I can honestly say there will never be another her.

Just as there will now never be another you.

I tell you I love you the way I love my women, because it’s honest and because it’s true.

Representing the reality

I haven’t written in a while, as I’ve been busy moving all over the place and starting a new job. Also, I found myself in a funk recently, as I tend to do when my life gets overwhelming and I see areas that I should be doing better in. I’ve been trying to stay away from comparing myself to others for as long as I could remember, but it didn’t dawn on me until recently that I compare myself to an inaccurate memory of my own past performance. Funks are hard to get out of… but I’m finally to a point where I feel positive, and like my normal self.

What helped me address my funk was realizing that the reality of myself and my past was not well represented. This is the time of Instagram… we take 40 photos of ourselves in a given situation, choose the most flattering one, post it, and delete the 39 undesirables. How the hell is anyone supposed to maintain a positive self-concept if we don’t accurately represent ourselves? This isn’t to suggest that my entire self-esteem revolves around how I look, but when I’m already feeling like I’m under-performing my past…old Instagram photos sure aren’t doing me any favors.

The same could be said about our society… we have models that don’t represent a true sample of the population, our entertainers are paid to look their absolute best and shamed when they don’t………which just leads to more and more of us “regulars” feelings like the unperformed. Of late, I’d been really harsh on myself for gaining 8 lbs in the last year, and not keeping up with my good habits. I would send myself into shame spirals just by looking at old Instagram photos, and thinking “I had it together back then…what the fuck happened this year?”  Well, what happened is that I’m human, and sometimes humans fluctuate in weight, and go through life ruts. What matters to me is being healthy, and feeling good about myself and the cosmos. The rest will sort itself out.

I saw something recently that said “love yourself in the same way you so freely love others,” and I was like “holy fuck, I would never shame someone for going through a rut or for feeling like they’ve been under-performing their past. I’d fucking lift them up and make them feel supported and smothered by my love!” -So, why the hell shouldn’t I do that for myself? …I should. YOU SHOULD. We ALL should.

I turned 25 this year, and even though I do practice quite a bit of self love….it’s good to be reminded that I’m not done learning how to love and accept myself as I am: human. Maybe I’ll look at those 39 “undesirables” with more love next time, and definitely not delete every single one of them, because I’ve learned (time after time) that that does more harm than good. And maybe I’ll work on smothering my own self with love, by lifting myself up the way I would my loved ones.

26 is going to be a good year for me, and I’m looking forward to taking this lesson into the new year with me.

P.S. Guys, today is our one year anniversary and we hit 11k followers this month….that’s fucking outrageous. I could never imagine that I would have fallen head over heals with a project in the way that I did when I created this with the help of my “team” (aka besties). Holy shit. Instagram is the bulk of what brings traffic onto this site, so if you want (sometimes) hourly updates on where I’m at with life be sure to follow us on IG @BasicAndBipolar.

Thank you for all the IG, FB, and WP love!! I can’t even begin to express my gratitude over having so many genuine people follow along. We’re all so lucky to share our stories and path with all of you.

xx

To Be Continued,

B&B

Bhruasnhd

Friends, followers, loved ones:

As you all know, it’s not uncommon that I share when I’ve discovered something I love. This isn’t a blog/IG/FB (or anything else) that makes money, so when I’m sharing about my love for something, it’s because I pay for it myself and give it high praise on every one of my platforms. 

With that said, one of my very talented friends has created a clothing line with his brothers that I couldn’t be more stoked about. In an effort to not only share beautiful art with the world, they’ve sparked dialogue surrounding our cultural and societal norms and it’s giving me life. I’m so impressed and proud of this dude, you can’t even imagine my excitement when the line finally dropped. 
I’m obsessed with these designs, guys. Check them out: bhruasnhd 

SoHotHeWontNoticeMyCrazy

Am I right!?!

How many of us have thought “I just need to lose____lbs”, “I just need to be in better shape”, or “I just need my long luscious locks back”….”and that’ll show him! I’ll be too hot for HIM!” 

I’m guilty of this, and I know many others are too. Let’s work on this, guys and gals. Let’s collectively work on valuing our journey enough to not invalidate our present. You are who you are right now. Nothing superficial has changed who you are underneath all the bullshit. 

So what if I’ve been in better shape and my hair is in a weird transition phase -I’m the same catch I was last year and the year before. I’m still the same sassy mouthed, moody queen who loves fiercely. Chances are, whoever I’d want to “teach a lesson”…things were not that great anyway. Superficial relationships never are.

It’s great to joke about the quirky things we all do (and I genuinely am someone who has thought the above…in the last month!). But I think the most dangerous thing about having this mentality is that we constantly say to ourselves “you’re not good enough…yet!” So, we’re not only putting ourselves down, but we’re seeking out this fictional version of ourselves that we’ll finally be happy with. We’ll feel better about where we’re at in life when they’re pining after us.

 This is a sort of fucked up concept, guys. One that extends beyond the romantic. I’ve got a yogi bestie who thinks she’ll get more people in her classes if she looks better in her Instagram photos. What does her leg cellulite have to do with her ability to teach yoga? Not a fucking thing. What does my weird hair phase have to do with my ability to love? Not a fucking thing.

 Let’s all do better, ladies and gents. Remind yourselves and your friends that we are all perfectly fine in the present. Own your path. We may be flawed, but we’re constantly redefining our perfectly flawed mold. 

We need the support of the collective to break this bad habit. 

To be continued, 

B&B 

File This Under Things Not Worth Our Time

Guys, I really don’t give a fuck about a divorcing couple I’ve never met. We all have issues we’re passionate about, let’s focus on those. Let’s focus on what’s going on around us & in the world…not what’s going on in the bedrooms of Hollywood’s finest. 🙏❤️🌍 #TooManyBrangelinaMemesAndHeadlines #SoapboxMomentOver

I Repeat, I Am NOT Chill 

I’m not cool or “chill”. It’s just a simple fact about me.

Quick story:

After an embarrassing amount of failed attempts at getting movies back from the flakiest fuckboy I’ve ever encountered, he felt the need to tell me “Chill, girl. You’re really cool, but damn.. sometimes, you’re too much.” And that’s obviously when I acted like a complete mature, composed adult and told him to go fuck himself if he couldn’t manage to return my stuff like a proper fucking adult would….Did I say mature/composed? I meant, a complete mad woman who would have throat punched him if he had told me to “chill” in person.

I am not a low-key, chill chick (whatever the fuck ‘cool’ or ‘chill’ even mean in that context). I don’t even mildly exude that. I’m high energy, and a relatively demanding person that is definitely too much for some people. *My best friend likes to compare me to a puppy, because I’m both playful and will whine relentlessly until my loved ones surrender to my whims*

Are these qualities everyone loves? Definitely not. Do I pretend to be anything but a neurotic goofball? Goodness no. If I’m “too much” it means that I’m not for you, so get to stepping. I’m fine with who I am.

Also, ladies…how many of us love being told to “chill” or “relax”?? Sigh. They never learn.

I’m so not cool, guys. I like getting my stuff back after I stop seeing someone -it only seems fair. I also really like adult conversations that don’t lead to “show me your tits”, relationships that involve labels, and I LOVE having specific plans to which the other adult shows up on time (8 pm does NOT mean 9:30pm).

To any future flakey fuckboys to cross my path, I’m not chill…I will NEVER be chill. Stop requesting it of me.

To Be Continued,

B&B