PrayingMayBeWhatWeNeed

Guys, can we all just discuss Kesha’s song “Praying” ?? Holy shit.

I’ve been listening to it on repeat all day.

This song is so relatable in so many different way. If you’ve ever been hurt and felt so undervalued in a situation that it left you actually believing your worth was lost… then this is such a powerful song to listen to. It’s also incredibly relatable to our society right now.

I was talking with one of my very best friends, and we were both crying over how amazing this song is and how wonderful it is to create something so beautiful whilst emerging from such a hurt and sad place. We were exchanging how we related to this song. I was sharing about how I was sexually assaulted as a young adult and sometimes I wonder if there’s something fucked up about me not only forgiving him, but hoping that he’s changed and has found whatever he was lacking that led him to think it was okay to force himself onto a sleeping girl. I gave myself permission a long time ago to let go of the negativity. That’s his to bare. I didn’t have a choice in his actions, so I refused to live with his baggage. And my bestie shared about how he found it relatable post-breakup, and how we always hope someone understands how much they’ve wounded us, and work that out on their own. Their baggage, not ours. May they face it.

Life is beautiful but it’s also real fucking hard. We’re all a little broken by our path but it’s the piecing back together that creates the beauty in our present. It’s an amazing gift to be able to connect with others on something that rings so achingly relevant to us.

I can’t leave out how the visuals for the video are amazing, and shed a lot of light on those societal aspects that make this song so relatable. The standard of beauty is something I talk a lot about, because it’s fucking outrageous and I think we owe it to ourselves to squash it like she does the TV. The list just goes on and on, because this video really is fantastic. The TV with “Dems are evil” -good lord, if I had a fucking dollar for every time some conservative made me sound like I was “too much” or a weirdo hippy when I was talking about equality means EQUAL fucking treatment for ERRRRRBODY. *covers face in disappointment* I had educated, conservative men ask me (on International Women’s Day) if I actually believe women are undervalued in this society……………………………………. I was at work, so I couldn’t say “OPEN YOUR FUCKING EYES AND EARS.”  I mean, I was calm and gave a semi-chill  “hell yes” type answer, but shouting would’ve felt better in that moment.

Thank you, Kesha, for giving us so many important feels. It couldn’t have come at a better time. This song is life-changing, creative, and just fucking brilliant. Congratulations.

 

xx,

B&B

Unsent Messages

To the man who describes himself as a broken-hearted hero, 

I thought love was jealous, fragile, and painful. I thought everyone who loved deeply, did so complicatedly. 

Since you, I’ve discovered love through the purest of sources: friendship and kindness. 

The kind of love that makes me feel seen. The kind of love that makes me feel heard. 

It’s that kind of familial love I didn’t realize I already knew, and had no idea I would someday gain even more of. 

Because of what I’ve learned since you, I was ready for him. To see him. To hear him. To love him. 

I’m thankful for where my path has brought me. I hope you can say the same. 

Sincerely, 

The confident queen who walked away

Love letters from a fembot

You took my compliment as an insult, and for that I must explain: when I say I love you the way I love women, it’s the highest compliment I can offer.

I know these women.
I know their hearts.
I trust their intentions.
I trust their judgement.

Telling you I love you the way I love my women, it says

I know you.
I know your heart.
I trust your intentions.
I trust your judgement.

The men in my life come and go. Though I hold their friendships dear to my heart, the ties always tend to fade.

The women, they’re for life.

Pick any one of them, and I can honestly say there will never be another her.

Just as there will now never be another you.

I tell you I love you the way I love my women, because it’s honest and because it’s true.

Representing the reality

I haven’t written in a while, as I’ve been busy moving all over the place and starting a new job. Also, I found myself in a funk recently, as I tend to do when my life gets overwhelming and I see areas that I should be doing better in. I’ve been trying to stay away from comparing myself to others for as long as I could remember, but it didn’t dawn on me until recently that I compare myself to an inaccurate memory of my own past performance. Funks are hard to get out of… but I’m finally to a point where I feel positive, and like my normal self.

What helped me address my funk was realizing that the reality of myself and my past was not well represented. This is the time of Instagram… we take 40 photos of ourselves in a given situation, choose the most flattering one, post it, and delete the 39 undesirables. How the hell is anyone supposed to maintain a positive self-concept if we don’t accurately represent ourselves? This isn’t to suggest that my entire self-esteem revolves around how I look, but when I’m already feeling like I’m under-performing my past…old Instagram photos sure aren’t doing me any favors.

The same could be said about our society… we have models that don’t represent a true sample of the population, our entertainers are paid to look their absolute best and shamed when they don’t………which just leads to more and more of us “regulars” feelings like the unperformed. Of late, I’d been really harsh on myself for gaining 8 lbs in the last year, and not keeping up with my good habits. I would send myself into shame spirals just by looking at old Instagram photos, and thinking “I had it together back then…what the fuck happened this year?”  Well, what happened is that I’m human, and sometimes humans fluctuate in weight, and go through life ruts. What matters to me is being healthy, and feeling good about myself and the cosmos. The rest will sort itself out.

I saw something recently that said “love yourself in the same way you so freely love others,” and I was like “holy fuck, I would never shame someone for going through a rut or for feeling like they’ve been under-performing their past. I’d fucking lift them up and make them feel supported and smothered by my love!” -So, why the hell shouldn’t I do that for myself? …I should. YOU SHOULD. We ALL should.

I turned 25 this year, and even though I do practice quite a bit of self love….it’s good to be reminded that I’m not done learning how to love and accept myself as I am: human. Maybe I’ll look at those 39 “undesirables” with more love next time, and definitely not delete every single one of them, because I’ve learned (time after time) that that does more harm than good. And maybe I’ll work on smothering my own self with love, by lifting myself up the way I would my loved ones.

26 is going to be a good year for me, and I’m looking forward to taking this lesson into the new year with me.

P.S. Guys, today is our one year anniversary and we hit 11k followers this month….that’s fucking outrageous. I could never imagine that I would have fallen head over heals with a project in the way that I did when I created this with the help of my “team” (aka besties). Holy shit. Instagram is the bulk of what brings traffic onto this site, so if you want (sometimes) hourly updates on where I’m at with life be sure to follow us on IG @BasicAndBipolar.

Thank you for all the IG, FB, and WP love!! I can’t even begin to express my gratitude over having so many genuine people follow along. We’re all so lucky to share our stories and path with all of you.

xx

To Be Continued,

B&B

Bhruasnhd

Friends, followers, loved ones:

As you all know, it’s not uncommon that I share when I’ve discovered something I love. This isn’t a blog/IG/FB (or anything else) that makes money, so when I’m sharing about my love for something, it’s because I pay for it myself and give it high praise on every one of my platforms. 

With that said, one of my very talented friends has created a clothing line with his brothers that I couldn’t be more stoked about. In an effort to not only share beautiful art with the world, they’ve sparked dialogue surrounding our cultural and societal norms and it’s giving me life. I’m so impressed and proud of this dude, you can’t even imagine my excitement when the line finally dropped. 
I’m obsessed with these designs, guys. Check them out: bhruasnhd 

SoHotHeWontNoticeMyCrazy

Am I right!?!

How many of us have thought “I just need to lose____lbs”, “I just need to be in better shape”, or “I just need my long luscious locks back”….”and that’ll show him! I’ll be too hot for HIM!” 

I’m guilty of this, and I know many others are too. Let’s work on this, guys and gals. Let’s collectively work on valuing our journey enough to not invalidate our present. You are who you are right now. Nothing superficial has changed who you are underneath all the bullshit. 

So what if I’ve been in better shape and my hair is in a weird transition phase -I’m the same catch I was last year and the year before. I’m still the same sassy mouthed, moody queen who loves fiercely. Chances are, whoever I’d want to “teach a lesson”…things were not that great anyway. Superficial relationships never are.

It’s great to joke about the quirky things we all do (and I genuinely am someone who has thought the above…in the last month!). But I think the most dangerous thing about having this mentality is that we constantly say to ourselves “you’re not good enough…yet!” So, we’re not only putting ourselves down, but we’re seeking out this fictional version of ourselves that we’ll finally be happy with. We’ll feel better about where we’re at in life when they’re pining after us.

 This is a sort of fucked up concept, guys. One that extends beyond the romantic. I’ve got a yogi bestie who thinks she’ll get more people in her classes if she looks better in her Instagram photos. What does her leg cellulite have to do with her ability to teach yoga? Not a fucking thing. What does my weird hair phase have to do with my ability to love? Not a fucking thing.

 Let’s all do better, ladies and gents. Remind yourselves and your friends that we are all perfectly fine in the present. Own your path. We may be flawed, but we’re constantly redefining our perfectly flawed mold. 

We need the support of the collective to break this bad habit. 

To be continued, 

B&B 

File This Under Things Not Worth Our Time

Guys, I really don’t give a fuck about a divorcing couple I’ve never met. We all have issues we’re passionate about, let’s focus on those. Let’s focus on what’s going on around us & in the world…not what’s going on in the bedrooms of Hollywood’s finest. 🙏❤️🌍 #TooManyBrangelinaMemesAndHeadlines #SoapboxMomentOver