Erica III: End

I made a list of all the words I should have said to you.
They turned into a book; the kind of book that you can read over and over, and still learn something new.
But there was a certain way the words looked to me every night.
They spelled out something sinister, and somehow never looked quite right.
They would stare me in the face and mock me for not understanding them.
And as soon as I’d start to figure it out, they would mix themselves up again.
The story never changes though.
It’s always the story of me and you, and all the things we’d never make it through.
And I guess somehow, before I even wrote it, I always knew.
I’ve memorized the lines but can’t quite figure out what to do.
When my arms reach out, grabbing nothing but air as if the emptiness is trying to give me a clue.
When I stop breathing to try and hear your heartbeat just once more, until my body starts to turn blue.
My God, what am I supposed to do when my sheets no longer smell like you?

10 Stupid Things Romance Movies Teach About Love

Romance movies and Rom Coms have done me no services as a young adult.

However, there is one Rom Com that doesn’t do me wrong: Trainwreck. Holy shit did Amy get that screenplay right. Though the story-line gets a little silly at times, it’s actually extremely relatable. Dating in my twenties has been a total grab bag of experiences mixed with Vodka (shaken, not stirred). When you’re young, sometimes you really do date a John Cena-type (in appearance and personality), and sometimes you date a Bill Hader-type.

But not all writers are Amy Schumer, and not all romance movies get it right.

 

 

Films and Things

Romance movies are nothing more than mindless escapism. A chance to take out the Kleenex and indulge in some sickly sweet entertainment, admire the attractive cast and let ourselves get emotional about the characters on the screen. Who didn’t shed just a little tear at some point during Dirty Dancing? And don’t even get me started on P.S. I Love You.

The truth is, most romance movies are stupid and unrealistic. An over the top idea of what love is all about, perhaps even a metaphor for love that takes all the little things and blows them into extremes for our viewing pleasure. Some claim romance movies are damaging, and I get that, maybe impressionable teenage girls watch them and do genuinely start to believe that love should be like it is in The Notebook and refuse to settle for anything less; i.e. refuse to live in the…

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For Her, Forgotten

She quietly died in a room where no one had bothered to change the calendar in for five years.
It was a decision she had made a few months before but never found the courage to go through with. That was largely in part of her never being alone.

Before then, I had left her side only once. It was something I deeply regretted but learned to forget over time.

I knew how much it hurt, but she said, “The heart heals because it’s made to take chances.” That never made me feel better, but it did give me a reason to breathe.

But by and by, the air grew thin until we found ourselves struggling to find enough for the both of us again. Or maybe she was just choosing not to take her share.

Fearing suffocation, or perhaps embracing the outcome more than she thought possible, she secluded herself to a small box to keep her safe from me. Or so I thought.

As the days passed, I couldn’t bear the stinging absence of her lips on mine. I couldn’t stand the sight of her not standing next to me, or the feeling of my fingers being able to touch in the void that her’s once filled.

So I found her there, her heart not quite healed but unable to break ever again.

Her lifeless lips with no intention to ever touch mine; her limp body with no means of standing next to me; her fingers unable to place themselves in the void they once filled.

She quietly died in a room where no one had even bothered to change the calendar in for five years.