Holidays&Hookups

Before I begin with my “New Year” post, I’d like to take a moment to address a discussion topic suggestion I received on the Basic&Bipolar Facebook page. Here we go: “Holidays and Hookups: at what point do you get your sex buddy a Christmas gift?”

Well, Holidays and Hookups, it really depends on your dynamic with this person. Do you have that type of relationship?

This is a really lame comparison, but it’s the last time I was in a mildly similar position. Once, I had sent a Christmas card to a guy I was talking to for a few months, and he never even acknowledged that he received it. I eventually asked if it had made it to him yet, and he responded with “I got it.” –and that was it. I wanted to respond with “Hey, you’re welcome, yah fuck. Thanks for wishing me a Merry Christmas in return!” …actually I kind of did. You know me, good ol’ mood swings for days.

Anyway, we were in that type of dynamic that it didn’t feel weird for me to send him something. We were friends in addition to being “friendly”. I think giving gifts to people you know REALLY well is easy, because you know how they’ll react, and they know what your intentions were with giving. When it’s someone you don’t know as well, and you don’t know how they show appreciation, or whatever… giving gifts can be really awkward. Mine was just a card, and even though time has passed and I don’t speak to that guy anymore, I still feel kind of like a jackass for sending it to someone who appears to have viewed it as bothersome or unwanted.

Giving gifts can be sort of personal.  It’s usually something I only do for loved ones. When someone has the perception that you view them as a loved one, it has the potential to make things progress into a more committed relationship OR make things kind of awkward. You could do a dirty Christmas exchange in an effort to keep it friendly and playful –the gift must be wearable and edible at the same time!

 

Okay, NYE post:
As the year of 2015 is wrapping up, it might be neat for us all to reflect on our year. What better way to appreciate a new beginning, than to reflect on the past year, as we take a step into our shared new year. I’ve compiled a short list to guide you through your reflections and mine.

 

What was your fondest memory of 2015?
One of my fondest memories was nothing extraordinary, but it was everything all at the same time. It was a moment where someone shared how one of my friends describes me to their loved ones, and it was filled with so much love. It was a gift to see how highly this person thinks of me. This moment made me incredibly happy, and has stuck with me throughout the year. It’s really magical to see how your loved view you. I don’t think there’s anything I love more than the wonderful people in my life. I have so many fond memories with my family and friends, this just happened to be the first one that came to mind.

What is the best, and even most inspiring conversation you had in 2015?
I met a lovely middle aged man from India, who was talking to me about his perception of the way a soul can evolve through a person’s lifetime. He believed that through the course of our journey towards adulthood, many of us accumulate a lot of bad habits and baggage. As a result, some of us leave behind this negative fingerprint or cosmic (spiritual) scent. He believed that as we grow older and not only acknowledge that baggage but resolve it… that that baggage is still present, but slowly the positive or sweeter cosmic scent overpowers that initial negativity. He used the example of Jasmine. He said, no matter how thick the crap is, Jasmine will always grow through the cracks and eventually overpower it. –I had never heard anyone explain the human experience quite that way. Maybe it was the way he explained it, but it was such a beautiful and inspiring thing for me to hear. And we had had this conversation at a pivotal moment in my life. I had just experienced a loss, and I was struggling with it, emotionally. He was a beautiful man, and that was something I definitely needed to hear. I had a lot of crap in my life at that time, but that beautiful scent of jasmine was still capable of overpowering the negative in the overall experience of my life.

What did you accomplish this year that you’re proud of, that you may have struggled with in the past?
Starting this blog is something I’m pretty proud of. I’ve been doing this for under two weeks and I have 100 followers between WP and Facebook. And a lot of you are very responsive and interactive with the content. I love connecting with people, and talking about our similar and different philosophies. So, thank you, guys! I wanted to start something semi-anonymous, to reach out to more people and it has turned out to be pretty fruitful thus far!

What’s a habit or trend in your life that you’d like to leave in the past that will soon be 2015?
Being too critical of myself is something I’d like to leave in 2015. This is something that a lot of people do. I’d like to work on being as critical with myself as I would any other loved one in my life. I think it’s important to give ourselves a break here and there.

Do you have any challenges set for 2016?
I don’t believe in random resolutions. I believe in setting challenges, and making life-style changes. I set lifestyle goals for myself every 6 months, and I spend a decent amount of time planning these goals to the fullest extent. A few months ago, I wanted to work on better time management (I frequently ran out of hours in the day). This next month, my challenge will be to start krav maga. I love this method of self-defense, and I think it would be great for me to get into. Besides, who hates a chick that can kick some ass?? Not this girl!

2015 has been a beautiful year for me. Ive learned a lot, and I wouldn’t take back any part of my year. I got to spend an extended period of time in the beginning of the year with some of my favorite people; that was pretty magical and definitely made this year stand out for me.

Happy Holidays, you beautiful bunch!

To Be Continued,

B&B

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