I was watching the movie “The Holiday” last night. For those of you who haven’t seen that movie, it’s starring Cameron Diaz and Kate Winslet.. as well as Jude Law and Jack Black. Well, the movie is essentially about two women who are in their 30’s and still haven’t figured out how to find the right balance between letting someone in, and being the only one in the relationship. The two women are on opposite sides of this spectrum: one woman is madly in love with someone that hardly notices her, and the other one is the typical depiction of an “ice queen”. -I recommend this movie to anyone who loves someone that doesn’t love them back: it’ll give you that reason to sob that you’ve been searching for for some time.
Everything about that movie made me think “How the fuck am I both of these female characters at the same time!?” -Well, I’ll tell you how. Remember when I mentioned in post One that I have the mood swings of a menopausal woman in her 50’s? -That wasn’t said in jest. I can be the only one in a relationship, to where I’m giving this person every last drop of my attention and my energy, and they give nothing in return. AND I can also completely drop people, and walk away without any remorse whatsoever. I’m basically two different women at all times. I was having a conversation with a friend of mine recently and she asked what had happened to the last guy I was talking to her about, and my response was “Oh, I told him I never wanted to speak to him again. You know me, 4 unanswered text messages, and I go from zero-to-crazy. I wonder what he’s up to. Think he’ll just laugh off how insane I was? I really like him.” And as is usual, this friend looked at me and said “Good thing you’re cute, otherwise you’d never get away with being so crazy.”
Though what she said was said to be funny and not sincere, I wonder what it is about being so honest about our ever changing emotions that makes people so uncomfortable. I believe in following my instincts and being true to them. If I want to tell some guy that I don’t like him that week, because I have my period and I want to throw something at him, I actually will tell him that. I’m clearly no expert at dating, but I’m really comfortable with my natural state. I heavily dislike the stigma that is put on women that allow their emotions to show on the regular. Being “emotional” isn’t a handicap. This isn’t to suggest that I believe in allowing my emotions to rule my life; I wouldn’t recommend that, but I do recommend allowing yourself to be “seen”. Don’t hide who you are. Your partner is going to find out sooner or later, anyway. 😉 Just try it!
So, if you’re out there, being ashamed of having an abundance of feelings today(or every day), I support you and your abundance of feelings.
To Be Continued,